let's get crunkkkkkkk!

Happy new year, blog followers.

You know, I'm not one to make new years resolutions. They always seem to be broken fairly quickly. And let's face it, we're all human and none of us are perfect.

But, here I am making them anyway. I guess mine aren't really resolutions, but more like goals. I'm trying to make them attainable, you know, so that I can actually attain them.

1. Try to be less upfront with people. They don't need to see my entire personality in the first 2 minutes they meet me.
2. Take my schooling seriously. As in, no play until homework is done.
3. Stop judging people. They don't deserve me.
4. Learn to budget my money and do it successfully for at least one month.
5. Hopefully get married, or at least be in a serious relationship. (Cause I mean, we all deserve that.)

So anyway, those are my goals. I think they are attainable for the most part. I don't really have all that much control over getting married, but I'll do the best I can.

Happy New Year, y'all. Get crunk..... off non-alcoholic things. Be safe!

no fetchin' way

Okay, so I'm going to vent here for a minute.

I am extremely sick of seeing these 19 year old girls getting married. Granted, you could say that I'm just jealous, and to some extent I am. But I also have a hard time believing that they have dated enough to know who they want to marry.

I feel like I am the MASTER of first/second dates. It never goes past the second. I feel like I am just too honest for the boys at BYUI. I am not going to become the sheltered, quite housewife that they are looking for. I am out spoken, loud, sometimes crude, energetic and very honest. But I am also very loving, respectful, compassionate, strong faithfully, talented, and possibly the most 'would do anything for you' girlfriend they would ever have. And I never get the chance to prove it.

I hate when people tell me that I'm "just not ready" to get married. Excuse me while I take offense to your comment, but thank you for telling me that I am not mature enough to get married. I know that I may not be the most mature 21 year old female you will ever meet, but I know that I have lived my whole life to get married. I want an eternal family. I want a husband to spoil, cry to, cuddle with, and love with all my heart.

Being 21 at a church school isn't easy. If you're not married people start assuming that there must be something wrong. I hate being asked if I'm going to go on a mission as well. NO, just because I am 21 and not married does NOT mean that I am going on a mission. A mission is not for me.

I have a very good reason for not going on a mission and I have a very good reason for not being married. Neither of which are really any of anyone's concern, but I openly share why. For one, I have OCD. Going on a mission with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is extremely hard. A mission is already extremely difficult and to openly put stress on myself that could cause possible panic attacks is not something that I want to do. Secondly, no one should go on a mission just because they aren't married, or because they feel obligated. You must WANT it for yourself and for the Lord. Why am I not married seems to be a common question as well, as to which I wish to response "Well it's really none of your business and let me guess, you got married at 18 and had a kid by 19." But in all honesty, I spent two years of my life waiting patiently for a boy on a mission. It was supposed to work, everything said it would. And it didn't. I didn't date for two years because I was fearful of falling in love with someone else and having to break my missionary's heart. (Now that I look back on it, I wish I wasn't so worried about that. He didn't seem to be when it came to breaking mine.)

In all honesty, I want a boyfriend. I want someone to love me and for me to love them back. I don't only want it, but I need it. I need it for my own sanity.

I'm sorry if you read this whole post. I use my blog as a journal, so it tends to get somewhat personal. But if you did read this, I hope you realize the pressure that LDS young adult women go through. It isn't easy, so next time you ask a girl why she isn't married, maybe you should think about what has been going on in her life. I'm sick of being judged.

day 13 - streamers

It's my roommates birthday tomorrow. We decorated the apartment after she went to sleep so this is what she'll wake up to in the morning. 

Happy 22nd Kristyna! We love you!

day 12 - dirty feet

Took pictures in the potato fields today. I got a little dirty, but I didn't mind. At least there isn't any snow yet.

day 11 - blur

I took pictures of Hunter today for my big print assignment. This is the clearest one I got. I am seriously going to throw my camera out the window and laugh as it smashes against the pavement. It's like the dang thing can't focus. I don't know what I'm gonna do now :(

day 10 - stripes

 

I wore my new skirt to church today. It's a maxi skirt and it's stripped. It is beautiful and possibly the most comfortable skirt I have ever worn.

day 8 - teddy

I took a nap today. It was a nice long nap on my nice comfy bed. And then I woke up to this staring back at me. Yes, I still sleep with my teddy bear and I love him very much. By the way, his name is Teddy. 

day 7 - mashed

Happy Thanksgiving! I love mashed potatoes. Like, I'm talking "lick them off the plate" like them. If I had to pick a last meal in jail it would definitely be chicken and mashed potatoes - homemade of course.

day 6 - orange dream machine

I love Jamba Juice. We don't have it back in Virginia, but I always feel better when I have my smoothie. I wish I could be home for Thanksgiving, so all you kids that are better not be taking it for advantage.

day 5 - flannel

Tonight I made an infinity scarf. Basically, it's a circle of fabric. It's beautiful and I love it.

p.s. Shout out to Brother Clark!

day 4 - denny hamlin

Boys and their toys. They could play PS2 Nascar nonstop for days. I quickly remembered why I don't hang out at my brother's apartment very often.

day 3 - toasty toes

I love lazy Sunday's. Yoga pants, painted toes, and warm feetzies in front of the heater. Bring on the AMAs!

day 2 - the millennium

Somehow I got suckered into giving the lesson tomorrow in Relief Society. The Millennium has been consuming my day, but I've actually really enjoyed it. Maybe a teaching calling would be nice?

day 1 - spin

friday = laundry day. I think this morning was the first time in weeks where I didn't have to wait for a washer or dryer. I can't wait to have my own laundry room in my own house!

13 days

For the next 13 days, I will be documenting my life through photographs on this blog.

Why? It's a photography assignment, and I'm really excited about it. They don't need to be artsy. They can even have an emotional attachment to me that doesn't mean anything to anyone else. I get to show my life through photos, and I couldn't be more excited. 

Bring it on.

Robert Fenton, Clarence White, and Edward Steichen

I'm studying, History of Photography to be exact. I have a big test in class tomorrow. I didn't do so hot on the last one... whoops. (I could be studying harder)

I'm so aggravated with life. It's just been one of those days, you know? And it was triggered by facebook.

Sometimes I feel like all the media today is slowly killing my generation. I mean, we can't go a day without checking our facebook, updating our tweets, reading celebrity gossip or blogging. (yes, I said blogging) We use all of our social networking websites to define us. We're "friends" with hundreds of people, half of which are only to stalk them later. There is actually an increase in anxiety and depression in today's teens and young adults. And it's been proven to all relate back to social networking.

How often have I thought, "Oh my gosh, he didn't text me within two minutes. What does that mean?!" or the occasional, "Is her status directed toward me?" It's ridicules how much this stupid thing, this computer, controls our lives.

A few weeks ago in sacrament meeting, my Bishop gave a little lesson. He asked us to tune out the screens. How often do we sit in church and check facebook, or pintrest? We really can't go three hours without being updated on everyone's life? We have a fascination with informing everyone on our every waking moment, as if being "cool" on facebook is what really matters in life.

I know this is a stupid post and I know that I am guilty of everything that I have just discussed. We all are. And sometimes, if we just say it outloud, or write it we realize how unimportant the things that are bothering us are.

I cannot change the past and I cannot plan the future. I can life for the moment and take the things that come my way one little step at a time.

Keep clam and carry on - it really is what it's all about.

KO

You see, I have this friend. I call her Kiersten, or Kierst. Some people call her KO, which is a pretty cute nickname if you ask me.

She is my best friend. I'm not talking as in we just call each other best friends, but she is a true blood best friend. She knows more about me then anyone else on this entire earth. Like, I don't think there is a single thing that I would feel uncomfortable telling her about. Like, she knows a lot ;)

Honestly, I'm surprised we don't have a secret handshake or a made up language that only we can speak in. We're tight; tighter then spandex. I think we'll be friends forever. Like that one friend that you keep in touch with for your entire life. Or the one friend that you feel like you were best friends with before you came to earth. Yep, pretty sure KO is that person.

Today we went to Kiwi Loco (frozen yogurt place here in the Rexburg) and we talked. We talked for a long time about things that you normally shouldn't talk about in public. And we talked about crappy ex-boyfriends who never deserved us ;) Or past roommates who you would pray to never have to live with again. Or our many inside jokes that never seem to cease because we come up with new ones practically every time we're together. There is also the fact that she has never eaten as much fast food in her life until she lived with me.

So, KO, I know you're reading this. (You blog stalker) And I want you to know how much I love you! I'm also super duper grateful to have you in my life. You're awesome and don't ever change. And I won't change either... I'll just stay super judgmental and outspoken. It what I do best, you know.

I love you KIERSTEN. You're the love of my life. Let's get married and live together forever. (Cause now we can legally be married in New York)

No one will ever be as awesome as us :)

181st semi-annual

This past weekend, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints held is semi-annual General Conference. This is one of two weekends a year where we listen to the words of our prophets that is broad cast from Salt Lake City.

This weekend is truly my favorite of every year. I love getting to hear the uplifting messages from our Heavenly Father that are sent through his servants. I always leave this weekend with a new found sense of my purpose here on earth. I feel peace in my life and joy as I look toward the future. I can feel my Savior's love for me as I hear the words spoken.

I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church. I know that it has been restored here on the earth through the Prophet Joseph Smith. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of the Lord here on this earth today. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and knows me better then I know myself. I know that He wants what is best for me and will bless me with things in His own time. I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ suffered for my sins so that I may be able to return to live with my Heavenly Father eternally. I know that the trials I face are for my good. I know that we have been blessed with temples on the earth so that we can make sacred covenants with our Father in Heaven. I am so thankful for all the many things my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I will never be able to repay Him for all his love and grace.

"Just remember to always look up."

pet peeve...s

So, I have one pet peeve. {okay, I have a lot of pet peeves} It goes a little something like this...

"Oh my gosh, I'm so OCD about ..."

Many people use this phrase all the time. But, if they only knew what OCD was really like, they would never use it. I've come to learn that this is something that shouldn't be taken lightly. OCD is something that literally controls your life. When you have OCD, you would never say that you're so OCD about something. Most people with OCD try to hide that they have it. It's definitely not something that you want to proclaim to the whole world.

This has always bothered me, but one girl in my class has really struck a nerve with me. She just throws the phrase around like OCD is something funny. It's not. Sometimes I just want to pull her aside after class and explain to her that it's not something to be taken lightly. It's like saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm so retarded about..." It's not funny to someone that might be mentally handicapped. It's hurtful and you would never say it around them.

Anyway, this is my rant for today. So, all those blog readers of mine out there. You know, all 12 of you.... If you take anything away from this post, please take away that this is hurtful to those that suffer with OCD. It's not funny. It's hurtful and it's hard to hear people take it lightly.

seasons of love

Fall has arrived! Finally! I love fall oh so much. It is truly my favorite season. The air gets crisp, the leaves change colors, costumes are on the mind, football is a daily occurrence, sweater and boots make their way out of the closet, the smell of pumpkin pie and apple cider fills the air...

Oh, I could go on forever. Can you tell I love fall?!

I can't wait for all the beautiful colors that are going to be expressing themselves for photographs. I can't wait for the picture opportunities await me.

Oh goodness, please let this fall be a memorable one. {memorable in a good way, you know}

stay tuned

idurrho

I'm back in idurrho, in the same apartment, in the same room, with the same decorations :) I'm loving my classes. I'm loving my roommates. I'm so happy my friends are back from their missions. I have more people that love me then I know what to do with. I'm healthy. I have my OCD under control. I'm reading the scriptures daily. I pray daily. I'm not eating out much. I am happy.

I am happy.

I am happy, and no one is going to bring me down. Because, for the first time in two years, I am at peace. I am comfortable with my life. I have accepted the present and forgetting the past and looking forward to the future. I haven't cried once since being here. I feel empowered.

And I'm staying high, because it's exactly what I deserve. It's exactly what I need.

secrets secrets

Only 6 MORE DAYS!

I wish I could tell you what I'm counting down too, but I've been sworn to secrecy ;)
But, only a few more days and you can know :)
and you can experience my happiness with me!

... it'd be a pretty cool way to go

At this very moment, I should be curled up on the couch in the beach house watching tv and playing with Smudge. But alas, I am sitting on my bed in my room at home typing this post. 

You see, these is a little thing on it's way up the coast at this very moment. Her name is Irene and she is a level 3 hurricane. She's headed straight for the Outer Banks, her second stop after hitting the Bahamas. 

We knew all week long that she was threat to our beach vaca, but we had high hopes that she would change her course and head out into open water. {I mean, tens of hurricanes do that very thing every year, right?} We heard on Tuesday that we may be made to evacuate the island on Thursday but that was just hearsay. We had a fingers crossed that this would not happen. I mean, we've been waiting for this trip ALL SUMMER! And then Tuesday's earthquake hit back home around Richmond. My mom, grandma and I didn't feel it because we were on the beach. There was nothing to shake around us. But Hunter came down to the beach immediately to tell us and inform us that Tsunami's do happen. She we packed up our stuff and headed back to the house. {Granted our beach house was only a block off the beach so it's not like we would have been safe or anything.}

After Tuesday's little episode we figured that our natural disasters where done for the week, right? WRONG. Wednesday night arrives and we're hit with the news: All tourist must begin to evacuate the island starting Thursday morning at 8 am. That would be 250,000 tourist all required to leave at the SAME time off of an island that only had to bridge exits. And that was the last straw. We hit up the outlets for the hour we had left before their closing, and then we headed back to the house. 

It was 9 Wednesday night when we began cleaning and packing. We left the house an hour later {we're fast like that}. There was NO WAY we were going to sit in traffic the following morning for hours on end. A lot of people in our neighborhood had the same idea, it seemed. We drove for three hours and ended up in Rocky Mount, NC. We stayed the night in a VERY questionable motel where Hunter and I shared a double bed. We made it home safely around 3 the next afternoon. 

Needless to say, we are pretty bummed that we didn't get to finish out our vacation. It's the only vacation we get a year. I'm supposed to be on vacation until Sunday and that's how it's going to stay. I'm not going into work and I'm avoiding everything that has to do with Splash Valley. 

Anyway, I would post more pictures, but I took most of them on film. I have a new found love for my film slr after this trip. Full frame really does make all the difference!

p.s. 8 days and counting!!!!!

awesome tan lines

grandma

please share?

itchy sand

:)

I found this in my basement today. It made my day wonderful. I will always remember this.

Maria,
You have shown me so much patience this year. You are an inspiration to a new coach. I knew I could depend on you and I did count on you for a lot. Thank you for knowing how to time things, when it is important to confront or just let it slide. This year has not been easy for you. I know that you will be successful at whatever you put your mind to and I am thankful and lookforward to having you Jr. Coach with me at Rec. Maria, just hang in there, your strength lies in teach and encouraging. It may be that you are not always out front or come out on top. You have a GIFT for letting others shine, but never forget you are MY STAR!


Coach Kay

woah

23 days, in case any of you were wondering.

i want fall

My favorite season is definitely fall. I love the weather. It's perfect. Mostly, I'm excited for:

football games

fall leaves

apple cider

corn/straw maze

and fall breezes

oh the laughs

Okay, so maybe that's not the best picture. We're basically turning my room into the guest room, so I am packing up my stuff. It's so funny the things that you come across when you're stuffing your life into boxes.

I mean, you should see all the things I saved from high school. Some are actually good things to save - yearbooks, decorations from homecoming week from senior year. And then there are the notes... oh boy, the notes! Some from friends, most from old "boyfriends" from middle school. You know, the ones that you didn't ever dare hold hands and maybe talked to on the phone once because you were too shy to even speak to each other. I mean, TECHNICALLY I'm still "going out" with a guy from 6th grade. 

You see, I wrote him a note one day. I asked him out and had a friend give it to him. He said yes. We never spoke after that for about a year. We never broke up, so I guess I've been cheating on him all these years... haha. 

Anyway, I think I'll miss my old room. Actually probably not, because my mom changed my room during my second year of college. It's not the same room from high school. I'm not the same person from high school. I'm ready to grow up. I'm ready to get married, and start a family. I'm ready to put on my big girl panties and move on. 

So, my beloved room, parts of you will be missed. I'll miss my pictures most. I won't miss you, mattress. You have indentions from my body that do not secure a good nights sleep. So rest in peace where ever you end up. Maybe you could provide a homeless person a nice resting place.

you and me goin' fishin'

in the dark... or light.

Hunter asked me to go fishing with him. He asks me all the time and I always say no. But today I decided to go ahead and tag along. I could take some pictures. As we all know, practice makes perfect.

I didn't make perfect, but I definitely practiced.

love the blur

oh. my. gosh.

52 days.

I REPEAT, 52 DAYS!

:):):):):):):):):):):)

i whip my hair back and forth

Today I was in the shower and as I was washing my hair, I was thinking about how I get the most compliments about my hair. Which is funny, because just tonight I got two compliments on my hair within an hour of each other. One at an airport and one at 7-11!

When I was in high school, I hated my hair. I thought it was so hard to manage, and took so much time. But now that I've grown older, I've become so thankful for it. So, I think I'll let you kiddos in on my little secrets :)

1. First off, I put A LOT of hard work into my hair. Some people put work into their makeup, or their outfits. I spend the most time on my hair everyday.

2. PRODUCT PRODUCT PRODUCT! I only use professional serums, shampoos and conditioners. I have noticed a HUGE difference in my hair when I don't. I use four different products in my hair. That includes washing, conditioning and styling. I SWEAR by L'oreals professional line. I use their conditioner and shampoo, and I also use two different products of theirs before I blow dry.

Shampoo

Conditioner

Smoothing Lotion

Smoothing Serum

3. Professional styling tools make a difference. I swear by my Paul Mitchell straightener. I've used friend's straighteners and they just don't seem to get my hair as smooth and silky. They're also less likely to cause breakage and damage to your hair. It's pricey, but it'll last longer and make all the difference!

Straightener

4. Don't use the hottest setting on your blow dryer. I use the middle temperature at the highest speed. It dries my hair in about ten minutes, which is a feat in itself. I have a lot of thick hair!

5. I only brush my hair when it's wet. THAT'S IT! Brushes tangle my hair, and spread the oils more quickly. I finger comb my hair through out the day and it works just fine. 

6. Washing your hair every day isn't necessary. Those oils in your hair are essential! They keep your hair healthy and shiny. I can usually go two days without washing my hair. That's me though! If your hair starts looking greasy, WASH IT. There is a difference between looking greasy and looking shiny.

7.  If your hair absorbs smells like mine, spritz a little body splash in it. Skip the perfume, it can be kinda harsh. 

8. GET A TRIM! Your hair only looks as good as your ends. If they're split, it won't look healthy. I go about every two months, as long as I can afford it :P

9. If you can afford it, have it professionally dyed. One, a stylist knows what would look best on you. Two, their products last longer. If may be expensive, but you're probably paying the same amount in those boxes sets every two months. 

Anyway, those are my secrets. I'm definitely not a professional in the hair field, but I've always gone to really good stylist. They've taught me what I know and I stick to their advice. And by following it, I get compliments on my hair. I mean, who doesn't love a compliment every once in a while?

rednecks, rides, and candy apples

Friday night after I got off work, my parents and I went to the local fair. It comes every year during the last week of June and the first week of July. {I honestly hadn't been since I was probably thirteen.} I wanted to take pictures, so I tagged along with my parents. It rained most of the time, so I wasn't able to get the lighting I wanted, but I still managed a few good pictures.

Please excuse the graininess of these photos. For those of you that don't know cameras, I had to use an ISO 1600 to get the shutter speeds I needed. That causes graininess. I think it adds to the photos.

Oh, how I miss being a child. So far, being an adult isn't all that great. haha.

the life of a dog

Isn't it so nice? Smudge's favorite activity is to be outside in the front yard, but we can't let her out the front anymore because she harasses the neighbors. She says she'll settle for this. Laying on the couch in the air conditioning, staring out the open front door, and laughing at the neighborhood dogs stuck outside in the heat.