hot stuff

Today, I finished my skirt in sewing. Yes, I FINISHED my skirt. It looks beautiful.

Everyone in the class wanted the pattern number to copy me, well, because I'm awesome.

I cannot show you pictures yet. I have some treads to cut and all that good stuff. (You know how it goes)

But don't you worry your little self because picture will follow soon after I debut my new look at general conference :)

stay tuned.

gotta get down on friday

I spent this past weekend in Utah - Spanish Fork to be exact. It was full of a lot of color, good food, and singing old songs in the car.

Saturday, my friends and I went to the Festival of Colors at the Hindu temple in Spanish Fork. It was so fun! (Many pictures to follow.)

The day started out like this...

Then this: 

And then ended with all of these:

(my camera took a beating)

When we left, we bought some girlscout cookies and showered at Terren's grandma's house. Sadly, I now have pink tinted hair and I fear it's not going to come out anytime soon. Oh well, memories right?

I went on a date Saturday night with a boy that served his mission in my ward at home. We went to Texas Roadhouse with some of his friends to celebrate a birthday. After, Terren, Brook and I went to visit my friend Griffin at the BYU dorms. It was good seeing him again. It had been a long time. 

We then went to 7-eleven to get gas for our ride home. I went inside to get a dr.pepper and stood behind the most GORGEOUS UVU boys I have ever seen in my life. They dressed the way I like, were the right height and were older then me :) I even caught one looking at me. SCORE.

Awkward moment? When I was getting into Terren's car and said, "Did you see the boys in front of me in line?! They were GORGEOUS!" I turned around and they were right behind me....

By this point it was around 10 and we no longer wanted to drive home the four hours that night to Rexburg. We called a former roommate in Salt Lake who let us stay at her place. We didn't go to sleep until at least one, woke up at seven and left the apartment at 7:30. It was a long drive back, and I slept in the backseat. 

We got back to Rexburg around 11, and unpacked our stuff. Terren and I went to the last block of church and when I came home I slept for a good 4 hours.

All in all, it was a super fantastic weekend! I love my friends and we have SO much fun together. Here's to another weekend in Utah at the end of this week! 

Lakers game, shopping and conference. Ahh. It's gonna be a good one. :)

Chubby cuppy cake boy

So, I'm really going to miss my roommates from this semester. We've had some really funny and interesting conversations. We've watched youtube videos until our stomach's hurt from laughing. We've yelled at the girls that live above us.

And I'd have to say that we're pretty AWESOME.

For example, a conversation that we had tonight.

Me: "I had my mom watch the fat kid video today and she said 'They should have never let him get that fat!'"

Allison: "Chubby kids are cuter."

Me: "NO THEY'RE NOT!"

Allison: "I just want my kids to be chubby for the first four to five years..."

She then continues to go on talking about how chubby kids are funnier, they're packed with good jokes, and that there is a difference between fat and chubby.

And what inspired this awesome conversation?

This:

How do I see myself...?

Like this:

These are for my self portrait assignment. Which of the two do you like the best? I can't decide. 

p.s. SHOUT OUT to Marissa Lang. THANK YOU SO MUCH! ;)

Just when

Just when I was getting over the whole Ryan situation. Just when I was moving on, I get an email from his parents.

I'm so grateful for their love and gratefulness. But, as I saw their name in my inbox, I jumped little. I got butterflies in my stomach and all the happy memories came back. I had to face the fact that it wasn't his parents telling me something that Ryan asked them to tell me.

It was just them. Solely them.

And my eyes welled up with tears.

it's funny

how a simple eyebrow wax can make you feel a million times better.
This morning I left feeling like I looked like major CRAP-OLA, and now feel like a BABE MAGNET!

BUH-BAM!

you gotta cut your losses

Sometimes, you gotta cut your losses. Today I deleted all of my voicemails saved from Ryan.

It feels weird, really weird. But, I think it's time to move on. I think last night I reached the point where I'm fed up. I'm not gonna hope for anything anymore. The way it ended... it just wasn't right. It just didn't seem personal. I felt like I was reading a recording. I haven't heard from him since, either.

I guess I just had to get to the point where I didn't want to waste my time anymore. It's over and it's been over. And, I think I'm actually okay with that.

Today my roommate told me a profound statement that her professor shared with her class. She reminded me that Heavenly Father isn't just going to dangle someone in my face that I think is great. He doesn't pick or tease on you. He truly wants what is best for you. She reminded me that He will only bless me with bigger and better.

I mean, Ryan was great. He really was. And to think that I will be blessed with better is amazing. Thank you Heavenly Father for wanting what is best for me.

selfish

okay, so I know I'm being selfish here...

but is it so wrong to want to be asked out on a date, or be kissed, or loved by a boy?

i feel like i must be a loser. it sucks not being asked out in 2 years. NO BUENO!

so, byu-idaho boys... GET ON IT. I'm waiting patiently for you to get up the nerve and ask me out. you know you wanna... :) I mean... could you resist this face and personality?

this is my personality :)

my cute face :)

GET ON IT!

humph...

It's almost one in the morning... and I cannot sleep. This may be because I took a three hour nap that was supposed to last one. Oops. :)

So, I have an interesting conversation to share. Yesterday I had an FHE brother tell me that when he first met me he thought I was weird and that I talked a lot. I've never been described as "weird" by anyone but myself so I was kinda shocked. I didn't know that I come across as weird to other people.

Today in my photo class, I have a friend named David. Since I had just met him this semester, I thought I would ask him what he thought of me when he first met me. His answer? I was shy and super reserved.

I know now you're really confused. Apparently I am shy, reserved, weird, and I tend to talk a lot. It's kinda funny how I come across differently to different people. I will say that I met David in class and I tend to not  talk in the first few weeks of class because I don't know anyone. When I met my FHE brother, I was already with my roommates that I was comfortable with. Humph.... At least I seem to have an uncanny ability to make my mom laugh her pants off.

I guess this could be considered a little weird...

It snowed again... and I hated it. I mean, it's March right? It should have stopped snowing by now, but apparently not. It's been melting the last couple days and I could actually see grass. I hadn't seen grass in MONTHS! Whatevs... home in a few weeks right? And then I can see all the grass I want :)

Anyway, have a good night. I'll try to go to sleep sometime soon.

Stay tuned.

random thankfuls

I'm just continuing my list of the simple things I'm grateful for:

old songs from my childhood
my moms sound advice and love
melting snow
canceled class
making a new friend
concerned roommates
growing hair :)
Terren's sass
a book that makes you cry
clean checks
sleeping with my teddy bear "Teddy"
listening to songs on repeat
going home soon
a fully charged laptop
piano music
yoga

stay tuned

questions questions questions

need to stop running through my head.

it's been one of those days

where you listen to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Not necessarily because the lyrics are particularly special or because it makes you want to dance. It's been on of those nights where you listen to the song over and over because the mood of the song describes you and it somehow helps you cope with what you're facing at the moment.

Tonight the facts were basically laid out to me; laid out with no fluff. I probably needed to face the truth at some point, but I guess I wasn't ready. I've wanted to cry all night; just let out all of my emotion. I'm lost and I don't want to start all over. I'm not ready for new beginnings. I'm still stuck in my old beginnings and they're all I want. Do I really want to date? No. Do I really want to move on? No. 

I realized tonight that I still have more grieving to do, and that's okay. It's okay to be sad and hurt. It's okay for me to not want to look into the future right now. It's okay that I still cry sometimes. It's okay that I still miss him. 

I want to slap him, and then apologize a million times over. I want to punch him and then kiss it better. But most of all, I just want him to tell me that he still cares about me. I don't care if he doesn't want to date me; I  just want him to still care. 

Maybe I'm asking too much, but I don't care. I'm going to be selfish right now, and I think it's okay. 

I'm gonna take a few deep breaths and cry. It's going to all be better in the morning.

stay tuned.