oh the laughs

Okay, so maybe that's not the best picture. We're basically turning my room into the guest room, so I am packing up my stuff. It's so funny the things that you come across when you're stuffing your life into boxes.

I mean, you should see all the things I saved from high school. Some are actually good things to save - yearbooks, decorations from homecoming week from senior year. And then there are the notes... oh boy, the notes! Some from friends, most from old "boyfriends" from middle school. You know, the ones that you didn't ever dare hold hands and maybe talked to on the phone once because you were too shy to even speak to each other. I mean, TECHNICALLY I'm still "going out" with a guy from 6th grade. 

You see, I wrote him a note one day. I asked him out and had a friend give it to him. He said yes. We never spoke after that for about a year. We never broke up, so I guess I've been cheating on him all these years... haha. 

Anyway, I think I'll miss my old room. Actually probably not, because my mom changed my room during my second year of college. It's not the same room from high school. I'm not the same person from high school. I'm ready to grow up. I'm ready to get married, and start a family. I'm ready to put on my big girl panties and move on. 

So, my beloved room, parts of you will be missed. I'll miss my pictures most. I won't miss you, mattress. You have indentions from my body that do not secure a good nights sleep. So rest in peace where ever you end up. Maybe you could provide a homeless person a nice resting place.

you and me goin' fishin'

in the dark... or light.

Hunter asked me to go fishing with him. He asks me all the time and I always say no. But today I decided to go ahead and tag along. I could take some pictures. As we all know, practice makes perfect.

I didn't make perfect, but I definitely practiced.

love the blur

oh. my. gosh.

52 days.

I REPEAT, 52 DAYS!

:):):):):):):):):):):)

i whip my hair back and forth

Today I was in the shower and as I was washing my hair, I was thinking about how I get the most compliments about my hair. Which is funny, because just tonight I got two compliments on my hair within an hour of each other. One at an airport and one at 7-11!

When I was in high school, I hated my hair. I thought it was so hard to manage, and took so much time. But now that I've grown older, I've become so thankful for it. So, I think I'll let you kiddos in on my little secrets :)

1. First off, I put A LOT of hard work into my hair. Some people put work into their makeup, or their outfits. I spend the most time on my hair everyday.

2. PRODUCT PRODUCT PRODUCT! I only use professional serums, shampoos and conditioners. I have noticed a HUGE difference in my hair when I don't. I use four different products in my hair. That includes washing, conditioning and styling. I SWEAR by L'oreals professional line. I use their conditioner and shampoo, and I also use two different products of theirs before I blow dry.

Shampoo

Conditioner

Smoothing Lotion

Smoothing Serum

3. Professional styling tools make a difference. I swear by my Paul Mitchell straightener. I've used friend's straighteners and they just don't seem to get my hair as smooth and silky. They're also less likely to cause breakage and damage to your hair. It's pricey, but it'll last longer and make all the difference!

Straightener

4. Don't use the hottest setting on your blow dryer. I use the middle temperature at the highest speed. It dries my hair in about ten minutes, which is a feat in itself. I have a lot of thick hair!

5. I only brush my hair when it's wet. THAT'S IT! Brushes tangle my hair, and spread the oils more quickly. I finger comb my hair through out the day and it works just fine. 

6. Washing your hair every day isn't necessary. Those oils in your hair are essential! They keep your hair healthy and shiny. I can usually go two days without washing my hair. That's me though! If your hair starts looking greasy, WASH IT. There is a difference between looking greasy and looking shiny.

7.  If your hair absorbs smells like mine, spritz a little body splash in it. Skip the perfume, it can be kinda harsh. 

8. GET A TRIM! Your hair only looks as good as your ends. If they're split, it won't look healthy. I go about every two months, as long as I can afford it :P

9. If you can afford it, have it professionally dyed. One, a stylist knows what would look best on you. Two, their products last longer. If may be expensive, but you're probably paying the same amount in those boxes sets every two months. 

Anyway, those are my secrets. I'm definitely not a professional in the hair field, but I've always gone to really good stylist. They've taught me what I know and I stick to their advice. And by following it, I get compliments on my hair. I mean, who doesn't love a compliment every once in a while?

rednecks, rides, and candy apples

Friday night after I got off work, my parents and I went to the local fair. It comes every year during the last week of June and the first week of July. {I honestly hadn't been since I was probably thirteen.} I wanted to take pictures, so I tagged along with my parents. It rained most of the time, so I wasn't able to get the lighting I wanted, but I still managed a few good pictures.

Please excuse the graininess of these photos. For those of you that don't know cameras, I had to use an ISO 1600 to get the shutter speeds I needed. That causes graininess. I think it adds to the photos.

Oh, how I miss being a child. So far, being an adult isn't all that great. haha.

the life of a dog

Isn't it so nice? Smudge's favorite activity is to be outside in the front yard, but we can't let her out the front anymore because she harasses the neighbors. She says she'll settle for this. Laying on the couch in the air conditioning, staring out the open front door, and laughing at the neighborhood dogs stuck outside in the heat. 

can't a girl catch a break?

Recently, I've tried to keep my post positive. I know that reading a blog that is full of negativity is annoying, and frankly, no one wants to read all about my OCD woes. But, I need to have a complaining, expressive OCD post tonight, so you'll just have to bare with me.

Let's be honest. I'm getting really sick of this OCD. It truly controls my life, and it's not fair. I mean, I know that we all have our own trials and difficulties that we must face in life. But I'm going to be selfish for a moment and just complain about mine. 

I am SO SICK of questioning my feelings, emotions, and everything else in my life at this moment. It seems that if it is important to me, then I freak out. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting a battle within your own mind. It rips my heart to shreds and all I want to do is cry. I've been fighting this battle for so long and it just gets so difficult. Sometimes I just want to give up. I just want to let my OCD consume me so that I can have an excuse for all my problems. 

I know I seem pretty happy on the outside. I've learned how to hide my emotions pretty well in these last two dreadful years. And I usually only break down in front of my mom and my best friends. But inside, I'm usually a mess of emotions. I just want to scream, cry, punch something. And to be honest, I miss my counselor. I always looked forward to/dreaded my Monday meetings with him. I loved being able to confide in him with my deepest fears and he would just listen. He'd ask me questions and try to understand WHY I felt the way I was feeling. But I also dreaded 9 o'clock on Monday morning. I always cried. I cannot recall a session that I didn't cry, unless I was faking my happy emotions that week. 

I just feel like when I'm happy, all my mind can seem to wrap around is something that will make me terribly miserable. I know this is Satan's doing because he knows me well enough to know what will break my spirit. But really, can he just lay off for a little while?! And I know he never will. 

I want to be held and soothed. I want someone to reassure me that I will be okay; that my world is not ending and that I can and WILL feel okay one day. I want guidance; I need guidance. 

Wow, I just really needed to get that off my chest. I'm sorry if you read this post. I know it's long and annoying. No one wants to read about other people's problems. We all have our own problems to deal with. 

Anyway, I feel better now. haha.