Happy new year, blog followers.
You know, I'm not one to make new years resolutions. They always seem to be broken fairly quickly. And let's face it, we're all human and none of us are perfect.
But, here I am making them anyway. I guess mine aren't really resolutions, but more like goals. I'm trying to make them attainable, you know, so that I can actually attain them.
1. Try to be less upfront with people. They don't need to see my entire personality in the first 2 minutes they meet me.
2. Take my schooling seriously. As in, no play until homework is done.
3. Stop judging people. They don't deserve me.
4. Learn to budget my money and do it successfully for at least one month.
5. Hopefully get married, or at least be in a serious relationship. (Cause I mean, we all deserve that.)
So anyway, those are my goals. I think they are attainable for the most part. I don't really have all that much control over getting married, but I'll do the best I can.
Happy New Year, y'all. Get crunk..... off non-alcoholic things. Be safe!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
no fetchin' way
Okay, so I'm going to vent here for a minute.
I am extremely sick of seeing these 19 year old girls getting married. Granted, you could say that I'm just jealous, and to some extent I am. But I also have a hard time believing that they have dated enough to know who they want to marry.
I feel like I am the MASTER of first/second dates. It never goes past the second. I feel like I am just too honest for the boys at BYUI. I am not going to become the sheltered, quite housewife that they are looking for. I am out spoken, loud, sometimes crude, energetic and very honest. But I am also very loving, respectful, compassionate, strong faithfully, talented, and possibly the most 'would do anything for you' girlfriend they would ever have. And I never get the chance to prove it.
I hate when people tell me that I'm "just not ready" to get married. Excuse me while I take offense to your comment, but thank you for telling me that I am not mature enough to get married. I know that I may not be the most mature 21 year old female you will ever meet, but I know that I have lived my whole life to get married. I want an eternal family. I want a husband to spoil, cry to, cuddle with, and love with all my heart.
Being 21 at a church school isn't easy. If you're not married people start assuming that there must be something wrong. I hate being asked if I'm going to go on a mission as well. NO, just because I am 21 and not married does NOT mean that I am going on a mission. A mission is not for me.
I have a very good reason for not going on a mission and I have a very good reason for not being married. Neither of which are really any of anyone's concern, but I openly share why. For one, I have OCD. Going on a mission with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is extremely hard. A mission is already extremely difficult and to openly put stress on myself that could cause possible panic attacks is not something that I want to do. Secondly, no one should go on a mission just because they aren't married, or because they feel obligated. You must WANT it for yourself and for the Lord. Why am I not married seems to be a common question as well, as to which I wish to response "Well it's really none of your business and let me guess, you got married at 18 and had a kid by 19." But in all honesty, I spent two years of my life waiting patiently for a boy on a mission. It was supposed to work, everything said it would. And it didn't. I didn't date for two years because I was fearful of falling in love with someone else and having to break my missionary's heart. (Now that I look back on it, I wish I wasn't so worried about that. He didn't seem to be when it came to breaking mine.)
In all honesty, I want a boyfriend. I want someone to love me and for me to love them back. I don't only want it, but I need it. I need it for my own sanity.
I'm sorry if you read this whole post. I use my blog as a journal, so it tends to get somewhat personal. But if you did read this, I hope you realize the pressure that LDS young adult women go through. It isn't easy, so next time you ask a girl why she isn't married, maybe you should think about what has been going on in her life. I'm sick of being judged.
I am extremely sick of seeing these 19 year old girls getting married. Granted, you could say that I'm just jealous, and to some extent I am. But I also have a hard time believing that they have dated enough to know who they want to marry.
I feel like I am the MASTER of first/second dates. It never goes past the second. I feel like I am just too honest for the boys at BYUI. I am not going to become the sheltered, quite housewife that they are looking for. I am out spoken, loud, sometimes crude, energetic and very honest. But I am also very loving, respectful, compassionate, strong faithfully, talented, and possibly the most 'would do anything for you' girlfriend they would ever have. And I never get the chance to prove it.
I hate when people tell me that I'm "just not ready" to get married. Excuse me while I take offense to your comment, but thank you for telling me that I am not mature enough to get married. I know that I may not be the most mature 21 year old female you will ever meet, but I know that I have lived my whole life to get married. I want an eternal family. I want a husband to spoil, cry to, cuddle with, and love with all my heart.
Being 21 at a church school isn't easy. If you're not married people start assuming that there must be something wrong. I hate being asked if I'm going to go on a mission as well. NO, just because I am 21 and not married does NOT mean that I am going on a mission. A mission is not for me.
I have a very good reason for not going on a mission and I have a very good reason for not being married. Neither of which are really any of anyone's concern, but I openly share why. For one, I have OCD. Going on a mission with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is extremely hard. A mission is already extremely difficult and to openly put stress on myself that could cause possible panic attacks is not something that I want to do. Secondly, no one should go on a mission just because they aren't married, or because they feel obligated. You must WANT it for yourself and for the Lord. Why am I not married seems to be a common question as well, as to which I wish to response "Well it's really none of your business and let me guess, you got married at 18 and had a kid by 19." But in all honesty, I spent two years of my life waiting patiently for a boy on a mission. It was supposed to work, everything said it would. And it didn't. I didn't date for two years because I was fearful of falling in love with someone else and having to break my missionary's heart. (Now that I look back on it, I wish I wasn't so worried about that. He didn't seem to be when it came to breaking mine.)
In all honesty, I want a boyfriend. I want someone to love me and for me to love them back. I don't only want it, but I need it. I need it for my own sanity.
I'm sorry if you read this whole post. I use my blog as a journal, so it tends to get somewhat personal. But if you did read this, I hope you realize the pressure that LDS young adult women go through. It isn't easy, so next time you ask a girl why she isn't married, maybe you should think about what has been going on in her life. I'm sick of being judged.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
day 13 - streamers
It's my roommates birthday tomorrow. We decorated the apartment after she went to sleep so this is what she'll wake up to in the morning.
Happy 22nd Kristyna! We love you!
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