humph...

It's almost one in the morning... and I cannot sleep. This may be because I took a three hour nap that was supposed to last one. Oops. :)

So, I have an interesting conversation to share. Yesterday I had an FHE brother tell me that when he first met me he thought I was weird and that I talked a lot. I've never been described as "weird" by anyone but myself so I was kinda shocked. I didn't know that I come across as weird to other people.

Today in my photo class, I have a friend named David. Since I had just met him this semester, I thought I would ask him what he thought of me when he first met me. His answer? I was shy and super reserved.

I know now you're really confused. Apparently I am shy, reserved, weird, and I tend to talk a lot. It's kinda funny how I come across differently to different people. I will say that I met David in class and I tend to not  talk in the first few weeks of class because I don't know anyone. When I met my FHE brother, I was already with my roommates that I was comfortable with. Humph.... At least I seem to have an uncanny ability to make my mom laugh her pants off.

I guess this could be considered a little weird...

It snowed again... and I hated it. I mean, it's March right? It should have stopped snowing by now, but apparently not. It's been melting the last couple days and I could actually see grass. I hadn't seen grass in MONTHS! Whatevs... home in a few weeks right? And then I can see all the grass I want :)

Anyway, have a good night. I'll try to go to sleep sometime soon.

Stay tuned.

random thankfuls

I'm just continuing my list of the simple things I'm grateful for:

old songs from my childhood
my moms sound advice and love
melting snow
canceled class
making a new friend
concerned roommates
growing hair :)
Terren's sass
a book that makes you cry
clean checks
sleeping with my teddy bear "Teddy"
listening to songs on repeat
going home soon
a fully charged laptop
piano music
yoga

stay tuned

questions questions questions

need to stop running through my head.

it's been one of those days

where you listen to the same song on repeat over and over and over again. Not necessarily because the lyrics are particularly special or because it makes you want to dance. It's been on of those nights where you listen to the song over and over because the mood of the song describes you and it somehow helps you cope with what you're facing at the moment.

Tonight the facts were basically laid out to me; laid out with no fluff. I probably needed to face the truth at some point, but I guess I wasn't ready. I've wanted to cry all night; just let out all of my emotion. I'm lost and I don't want to start all over. I'm not ready for new beginnings. I'm still stuck in my old beginnings and they're all I want. Do I really want to date? No. Do I really want to move on? No. 

I realized tonight that I still have more grieving to do, and that's okay. It's okay to be sad and hurt. It's okay for me to not want to look into the future right now. It's okay that I still cry sometimes. It's okay that I still miss him. 

I want to slap him, and then apologize a million times over. I want to punch him and then kiss it better. But most of all, I just want him to tell me that he still cares about me. I don't care if he doesn't want to date me; I  just want him to still care. 

Maybe I'm asking too much, but I don't care. I'm going to be selfish right now, and I think it's okay. 

I'm gonna take a few deep breaths and cry. It's going to all be better in the morning.

stay tuned. 

Joke

Wanna hear a joke?!

PRESIDENT'S DAY!

Wow, what a LAME weekend this has been. All is well, though. I didn't really do anything expect envy my brother for seeing John in Oregon, Terren for shopping in Salt Lake, and Allison who was soaking up the rays in So-cali cal cal.

Now that the weekend is over and I no longer have a need to envy my friends, I will update you on my life. It goes as follows: homework is over taking my life, my room is a MESS, my laundry is done, we have a new dvd bookcase, I've only had one dr.pepper in the last two days, it dumped snow over the weekend and Diana's mom is visiting.

Anywho, I need to go make my bed and hit the hay. Hopefully tomorrow will be full of sunshine (so I can take pictures), and I can walk to class bouncing to the beat of my ipod.

Wanna see a pretty picture I took today? :)

Oh Idaho.

Oh, Idaho.

Today was beautiful. February 15, 2011 and it was 42 degrees in Rexburg, Idaho. To say that it was a wonderful surprise would be an understatement. If Idaho stayed this beautiful all year round, I would live here.

Alas... Idaho is normally in the single digits and sometimes negatives in February. All is well, though.

Beautiful Idaho days make the worst of Idaho days more bearable. 

M.I.A.

So.... maybe I've been a little missing in action recently. I'm sure you were all worried (all five followers). I have to admit that I have been blogging...

on TUMBLR.


I know, I know. I'm a dirty traitor who doesn't deserve your sadness. Anyway, I've missed my long little rants on this internet-blog contraption. Tumblr just doesn't cut it! (I just can't stand reading about teenage drama....)

Stay tuned.