those days

Do you ever have those days when you are just down on yourself? Those days when you feel like you are a bad person, and that nothing will ever work out in your favor?

Well, today was one of those days. It always seems to creep up on Sunday. Maybe because I am in a spiritual mood, or maybe because I'm just thinking too much. Today has been filled with sorrow and discouragement. I cannot stop looking back on past sin, and realizing how stupid it was of me, as if I can't move on. What a heavy burden to carry.

As I was sitting, pondering, I remembered a youtube video that was shared with me during my Scripture Study class this past Winter semester. A simple talk shared with BYU students in 1996. It gave me hope, and on a day like today, it encouraged me to think positively.

I am a good person. I do good things. I am not perfect. I work hard. I study hard. I live the gospel. I attend church regularly. I magnify my callings. I read the scriptures. I serve others. I follow the commandments. I attend the temple. I listen to good music. I share my testimony.

These are just simple things that I have pondered on, but they are simple thoughts of encouragement. These are simple things that are going well in my life that the Lord has blessed me with. Putting faith in the Lord begins today. And nothing will hold me back.



"Faith is like spiritual oxygen. As we allow faith to freely flow within us, it awakens and enlivens our spiritual senses. It breathes life into our very souls." - David S. Baxter

for time and all eternity

It's 13 days until my best friend, Megan Aulick, marries her prince charming! I am so excited for

her, and am so glad that she is so incredibly happy!

We met my second semester of school, and weren't that close at first. My roommate, Lindsay (my other best friend), and Megan were best friends. The second year of school rolled around, and Megan and I are now inseparable!

She is my best friend, and I confide in her with more then almost anyone else. She's the comfort when I need it, and she's always there to tell me everything will work out. I miss our snowboarding fridays, and shredding on our "shreders." The many friday nights we s

pent together after snowboarding just laying on the couch because we were too tired to move. Remember when we got stuck in Provo for conference weekend because LindsayBug's car, Francis, went on the fritz? Oh when we had to ride the shuttle back to make it to classes on tuesday, although we'd already missed mondays classes? Or, the one time when we were walking back from an activity on campus and you tripped on sidewalk and almost face planted?

It's easy to become sad that she is getting married, knowing that she's going to be living in Omaha. We're not going to get to see each other as often as we'd like, but I know we'll still be the closest of friends. Knowing that one day, I'll find the same happiness that she shares with Matt gives me hope for the future.

I love you, Megan Aulick (Anderson)! :)

:)

As silly as this picture is, it reminds me of how HAPPY I am with Ryan.

I miss this, but I get it for eternity :) All these silly moments, and I hope I can capture more of them on film.

today, i was inspired

I know that I'm a complainer. Sometimes I just think it's my nature. I complain about everything from school, to work, my ocd, the dog. Everything. But recently, it's been my ocd.

I always have a woe is me attitude. I always seem to want everyone to feel bad for me. To understand how hard it is to suffer with ocd. I have been inspired by Stephanie. I stumbled unto her blog today (how I got there, I can't tell you.) But her outlook on life is so positive, and inspiring. I can only strive to have such an amazing since of self, and the Savior.

Watch her story here. I know you won't be disappointed.

Stephanie's Story

blackberry

So, a few weeks ago I had gotten bored at church and decided to take apart my phone. I wanted to clean out behind the keys and the track ball. They were disgusting.

In the process of doing this, I broke the ring that hold the track ball in place. I was frustrated because it would randomly fall out, and I'd have to get it JUST RIGHT to put it back onto my phone.

Yesterday, I was very frustrated with Hunter and got out of the car very angrily. Upon doing this, the track ball, and ring fell out. I found the ring, but couldn't find the track ball. I have strep throat and really didn't have the energy to stay outside and look for it.

So, this afternoon I had to trow something away outside. I figured that since I was already down there, I would go ahead and look for the track ball. I just told myself that I could find it, and the Lord would help me. Within 30 seconds, I had the track ball in hand :)

Although I get a new phone on Friday (DROID INCREDIBLE :):):)) I still would like to use to my phone. It's funny how recently I've been so focused on being depressed and fighting my OCD, I have forgotten to let the Lord guide me. A little faith can go a long way.

Always remember that :)

approaching nine months

It gets closer and closer to Ryan coming home. Okay, so maybe he's almost been gone for only nine months... but it's nine months closer to when he comes home!

This ride has been full of ups and downs since he left. Definitely filled with frustration, aggravation, stress, and many more negative emotions. But, when he broke up with me, I realized how much I truly love him. I've come to realize that living without him is not an option. My eternity will not be complete without him. Sometimes I wonder if my love for him is real. What if this isn't supposed to be? I've realized that love isn't just about feeling that incredible urge to just want to be with him. It's not about melting into his arms the moment he hugs me. It's about growing together. We've both grown so much in the past nine months. More then I ever imagined that I would grow. I knew that he would grow in more ways then I could count, but not me. Now I realize that all the trials I've faced have made me stronger. They have made me more aware of all that I'm looking for.

I look back on last summer, and the undying happiness that I constantly felt. I've missed that so greatly. And what do you think is the one thing that has been missing? Ryan Tyler Jensen.

It's incredible how one person can walk into your life, and your eternity will never be the same. He is my best friend. He treats me like a princess. He loves me for all my many faults. He thinks it's cute when I scrunch my nose. He loves my accent. He thinks I'm the most polite girl in the world. He is perfect, and nothing will ever change that.

I am in love with RYAN TYLER JENSEN! It feels so good to say that. I can't wait for you to come home, honey.

But for now, here are some pictures to reminisce :)

the brat - aka smudge

So, I had to share a picture of this adorable little brat



She is the master of getting into trouble. She bites harder then she realizes. She rips apart paper, and the stairs. She growls when you try to pick her up. She leans on you when she sleeps, and takes up the whole bed. She runs across the street to see her sister, Daisy. She hates when you pretend your hand is a snake and make a "hiss"ing sound. She always wants her belly rubbed. She pees everywhere. She thinks any stuffed animal belongs to her. She doesn't share well. Paint rollers are her favorite toy. She snaps at you when you try to take away her food or bone.

And yet, I love all her little annoyances. She is the cutest, meanest, sweetest puppy in the whole wide world.

And I can't resist her face.